Scaredie Bunnie Blog

Day 8 – Hang Overs and Headaches

Seriously. Teeth are dumb.

So i got braces for my 34th birthday, like the adult that I am. Sigh. I got a mix of rubber bands and invisi line retainers. And if all goes according to plan, I will be done in 45 weeks

Well we just barely started week three and I already want to yeet myself off a cliff. Because the section in the back top right molar area, is far too loose and wiggles way too much – its not even clasped to the tooth itself!?

My entire mouth is turning inside out.

This morning was not ideal say the least. I’ve gone to work with worst hangovers and upset tummies before, but I’ve noticed my tolerance for alcohol has changed. Unfortunately this is my biggest vice and addiction. Something i really do need to work on or limit maybe. Some how. Some way.

Reaching out to others has never been my best trait – or lack there of. And the thought of going to a support group – well in a small town like this that may very well be a shot in the foot. You never know who you’ll find. And that scares me out of ever taking such steps.

I’d had to get fired over someone at work finding out about this flaw.

I internalize it very rarely hinting at it being there. But lately, especially with money being as tight as it should be and my spending habits to get that dopamine fix, its just not going well.

I’ve more or less given up on several things for whatever hell scape future I may have to deal with. So drinking has become a thing to pass the time. There are several reasons ranging from boredom to forgetting a shitty work day to just the habit.

I always seem to be just looking forward to drinking to forget the world.

And its been working.

I can barely keep track of days, if I had Starbucks before work, hell even placing my glasses down has become an issue.

I just – don’t know what to do and it sucks.

But I want to change.

But I don’t know how to.

I don’t think I hold myself accountable to these sort of goals or accomplishments because. I never found value in of myself to make anything I do worth while.

However, this dumb spontaneous birthday gift to myself, has been something.

Its been ages since I’ve written a journal like thing.

So i guess – this is a change.

A something forward.
Day 7 – Catch Ups and Ketchups

Ha I knew this day would happen where I would miss a day. All because I did not hit the giant word PUBLISH by the end of the day.

Anyway today was mostly spent doing my graphic design side gig. Which defiantly is a project in of itself. I am just bracing myself for the upcoming work hell marathon. Five days in a row, one day off, three days on, thanksgiving, black friday, and saturday. Weeeeee.

I’m just counting down the days to the new year because of sanity. Rather I should just be focusing on the book reviews I want to start.

Starting new habits and breaking old ones is a challenge in of itself. I found myself setting alarms on my phone for reminders and having a giant calendar above my desk about whatever the hell I am doing that day.

I am just waiting for the day when we are finished with this ring worm quarantine phase. I have forgotten what my living room is like ha. That and playing on my console.

Looking at my desk corner of the bedroom, I wish to change a lot of it. Mostly just putting things on the walls like my many art pieces or trinkets from friends and love ones. I have this scratch off poster from one of my yearly trips to the national parks. Its somewhere in a drawer, but I need to get it framed. I have a whole square yard of felt with pins from hundreds of artists and locations just sort of hanging out in the guest room.

I never felt comfortable hanging up anything because I never felt secure enough in a location. Even though I have lived here for 12 some odd years. Yay commitment issues!? Who knows.
Day 6 – Rainy Days and Mac n Cheese

Finally! The weather that autumn should have been! The rainy gloomy weather that is perfect for a coffee, blanket, and good book is here and thats sorta what I am doing?

Instead I gave the DustMites their weekly bath. We are in the phase of everything is in an upswing and looking like its going to be alright. But I know if I fuck up and slack here, then we all will be bald once again.

As the holidays creep up, I have to strategize my meals to avoid any last minute shopping trips. As well as plan what sort of gifts to give my friends and family.

Its always a crazy time of year.

Lets see, what all did I actually do. Mostly just clean and organize my desk since the two mites have been getting bigger and bolder. My drafting table is about four feet tall and I watched with comedic horror as one of the brave mites jumped from ground up – and completely clocked their face full on into the edge of desk. No kittens were harmed ((I think?)). Either way that proved I needed to get the forbidden horizontal surface cleaned and kitten proof.

After having a dog who couldnt jump more than six inches for a decade – the concept of having animals that can go vertical within the blink of an eye, is new. So mostly the day was spent just cleaning and organizing my life a tad. I did make a spot for my twelve books on the desk so thats kinda cool and professional looking.

As for the rest of my apartment, it really needs a good cleaning. I hope once we escape quarantine, I am sure to have a better time with all this.
Day 5 – Bright Eyed and Bushy Tailed

Yyeeaaahhh daily writing is a weird habit to get back into. So I’m doing some research into annotating books. And at first it looks like a fun way to actively read and color code books! But then I can see how it can spiral out of control.

I’ve always been hesitant about writing in books. I sorta of reserved that for ancient paper backs you find in the dollar bin at the sketchy antique store. I like my books too much to write in them. So note books it is!

Either way the end of the work week brings new chances for two days of peace and quiet and books.

I plan on going to either the Cafe place in town and just sit with a coffee and my book and just read. With the weather getting colder ((finally)), that idea of a cozy solo coffee date sounds so wholesome.

It would atleast give me a break from being the Dustmites chew toy. Especially from the whole ring worm quarantine zone we three are living in.

This night took a bit of a social cutting thanks to a friend’s gift of wine tasting. So I was able to go out and make some mulled wine. It was a much needed change of pace after such a dumb week of retail hell.

The Dust Mite Twins, Aspen ((female with the black nose)) and Sage ((male with the pink nose – and knows he can get away with anything))
Day 4 – Plans Made in Warm Jello

I lied!

The number generator thing was not working so I picked my top interesting ones from each shelf and rolled with it.

I picked the top twelve books that are a mix of new, old, and recommended. Most of which have a cute little back story as to how I ended up with them.

Now I just need to decide on how to organize them; title, author, coolest art cover, etc. Either way I’m getting ready for January’s first book!

Meanwhile, I am dealing with two kittens.

I adopted two kittens in September. It was a planned semi thing which is a whole story in of itself.

I work at the local homedepot for the last 5 someodd years. Behind the garden walls, we have a colony of feral cats. Each year we rescue a hand full of kittens. This year we save about five to eight. The first year way back when there was a little white grey ear kitten i was absolutly smitten with. However this last season, I had reasuced a little black kitten from the pipe cage.

because his breathing was not right, i had surrendered him to the local animal shelter. but i had kept close eye on him and his georgous girl kennel mate.

however throughout the month, the pair of them had not been right, or healthy enough to be released to a home. Honestly, thats totally understandable from the shelter point of view. for the health of the kitten

well after a month and a half of this, i spontaneously called out of work and drove to the Best Friends Animal Sanctuary for the hell of it. And basically, long story short, I ended up taking home two white and grey eared kittens.

now originally their names were Carnival and Jamboree. The whole litter was some sort of festival celebration named. My mom had a whole list over very cute names. Cinnamon and Nutmeg were top contenders. But I landed on Aspen and Sage. Originally I thought they were both females, but through a comedy of errors and mixed messages, I discovered I had a set of brother and sister. At that point I had to figure out which was who.

Finally I had come to the conclusion – pink nose is the male this is named Sage, black nose is the female thus is named Aspen.

And the world was complete.

until Aspens ear started with a bald patch.

And now we are in quarantine and will be in such status until mid December. Ring worm 10 outta 10 do not recommend.

Basically, I knew I would get a cat next. I had a heartbreakingly wonderful Corgi named Charlie for 13 years. and honestly, after his passing last August 2024, I knew I was never going to be the same. He was and forever will be my world. He was my longest lasting relationship, my best friend, someone who looked at me like they truely loved me. And I knew it. I cannot express how much I loved this dog.

This last year without him, I had fallen into a dark place with very little hope for my own self identity. I knew is a corner of my mind I could never get another dog, so I would get a cat. Either a single adult cat or two kittens because they would need someone fo company when I was at work. That was my biggest regret with Charlie dog – leaving him along so much. I wish i could do it over again and feel his warm fur again. Most nights I wake up in the middle of the night hearing his nails on the hard wood floors.

But now, my quiet life shifted. Adopting two siblings from Best Friends was a major step and I do think this is a right step in some direction.

My life shifted.

It used to be – Me, myself, and Charlie Dog

to – Me, myself and . . . I . . .

but now its

Me, Aspen and Sage.

Its been so long since i had another – let alone two – to keep me company let alone be responsible for.

They just turned four months today. Theyre babies and I have never been responsible for such little ((nightmares)) ones before.

But in this moment of writting this semi tear filled drunken entry, having them there on my desk sleeping like the perfect angels that they are ((for now)) does make me feel somewhat whole.

I will never get Charlie dog back, and that still breaks my heart every second i think about it. But I think he would have loved these two Dust Mites just as much as I do. I just hope he knows I could never move on from him.

I love you Charlie
Day 3 – Holidays and Horse Sh*t

Where do I even begin. Very little surprises me about why the holidays get canceled for me. Working retail, the last two months of the year is an absolute shit show. Ranging between customers complaining about sales to now ring worm kittens, celebrations have never been a good time. Yes I am a full on scrooge, but after 5 years of this nonsense, who wouldn’t be?

Looking at my books bring both excitement at the prospects of reading them and reviewing them, and the dread of reading them and reviewing them. I am struggling to think of this as a fun process for my mental well being and as a distraction from this hell scape holiday season.

I think I will be doing a number generator for selecting the twelve books, doing it by the shelves. I’m gonna focus primarily on physical books for the twelve of the year. I have a shit ton of Mangas and will exclude though from the series just because I know how manga and web comics work. Some of them are never ending.

Now on this mess of a book shelf I counted 80 books ((I could have sworn I had more – maybe that’s what I get for not counting the Mangas ha)). I have read a handful of them already so I’ll exclude those ones if the number lands on them

So I’m gonna go through a number generator!

I’m excited for the 12 books of 2026 so wish me luck its something good!
Day 2 – When the Abyss Flirts Back

Well, this may be harder than originally thought of. Naturally that is more often than not the case when starting big passion projects.

I figured I would go through my inventory of books across all formats- nook, Kindle, and physical. I doing so I realized how many duplicates I have. Whoops. Currently I am writing a list of all the books on my nook account, seeing how that one is the least active.

I love Barnes and noble, I just wish their e reader experience was a bit more friendly. Having to log into the account on a computer to purchase books, just adds to the steps. I would much rather support Barnes and Nobel however, its just not as easy. I do however will drive an hour to the nearest store and wonder the aisles like a child in a candy store.

Kindle made their formats way to convenient and synced together. The ease of purchasing or downloading books makes choosing that app the obvious win. I just don’t like Amazon for what it is, although I use that website like its life support most days.

Physical books are amazing and I love seeing them all on my book shelf, collecting dust, untouched for who knows how long. Sigh. I am a sucker for a good art cover and if I heard little snippets of the plot, I shall pick it up.

This is where I get into the danger zone of having all the duplicates. Now I like the concept of trophy books, having a copy of one book you finished reading. But I do need to get in the better habit of actually reading said books. That’s why I’m excited for the next year of picking a book at random and just leaping into this project

I should sit down and put everything in in one of those random wheel things and let fate take the wheel to pick books. That or some random generator. Because at first glance, this is rather daunting.

Trying to keep the spirits of a new project is rather challenging this time of year. Typically I can bottle it up and just deal with it. But now that I have a semi creative outlet, I should be feeling better.

I am off to count my books and shelves. Weeeee.
Day 1 – Plotting the LoopHoles
Yeah, so no clue what to do really. Been thinking about doing something like…. this?? for a while now.

I love the whole alter egos, masked self shows true self nobody knows you’re a dog on the internet, sort of motifs. And I have no idea how I landed on this Bunny themed persona. Either way here we go.

GOALS
- Book reviews
- Art Work
- Independent Writtings
- Showing off my DustMites ((they’re cats and they are cute))
- Doing anything beyond laying on the floor in Cheetos dust doom scrolling instagram
- Money conscious, health conscious, food conscious
- Touch Grass!
And I am sure there will be others beyond that.

SCHEDULE
- Preferably daily life updates, focusing on random quotes from the current read
- Once a week a bigger review on chapters completed
- Once a month, more or less an essay and review on the book of the month.
I want to do something for once in this grand year of turning 34. To have something that I made to look back on. And for it to be substantial enough for myself to remember. I barely recall what I did last week.

After weeks of drowning in retail ground hogs day, I just – want something different.