Well, I half assed my way out of whatever hole I dug myself out of and somehow ended up here.

So lots of life changes and frankly I dont know if this was a good move. Atleast not yet. Cutting back hours and pay seems to be a crazy move and frankly I would never be able to without my blessed situation. That being said I never though about how much time I will have now that I have gone part time.

What the flying flip flop do I do with my time!?

All I ever known and down was grow up, get a job, and move out. Which dissolved into, work, home sleep and get bent. I never had energy to do anything afterwork because 8 hours of working in a lumber yard and dealing with the general shitty ((sometimes literally)) public, the last thing I wanted to do was be anywhere near another bipod being.

So now that I only work 4 hours, first thing in the morning, monday through friday, I dont know what to do.

Which is a lie, I know what I want to do – however I have the motivation drive that matches a slug surrounded by salt.

So what do I do?

Well since all Ive known has been just work with my one weekly year misadventure in the back woods, I decided to be absolutly useless this week. Very little has gotten done, especially on monday and tuesday. Cool.

Today however, I chose to touch grass and read my current read out at the park. Currently its in rough shape due to being fresh from winters hold, but it still holds promise. Going to that particular park will hold such bitter sweet memories.

However time has moved on and I realized, that even though I live in one of the best national park states, I have not been to any of the parks, up the mountains, and let alone that park, without some great need. Like going to Bryce National Park for a trip. I havent been to the little mountain towns or the lakes in over two years.

I have become very sedentary and its taken a deep hold on me. So I am hoping, stepping down from work, I can figure something out. Even if it may be too late for me. I want relationships, I want love, and companionship. I want to go finally hike the infamous trail up the mountain, one of which I have been telling myself I will do one day since I moved here in 2010. Gag.

It boils down to I need to repair or grow or impliment some sort of relationship with the world beyond the two miles I drive for work and back. Its hard being an old single cat lady in a college town, and its just an excuse.

Not only do I want to develop a craft, a creation, something, but I would like to be apart of something? Hell a book club would be really cool to join. Some how.