God dammit I figured the day after they would stop with the mind numbing Christmas music at work.

Anyway, once the first rolls around I plan on achieving or moving these entries elsewhere so as to not really clutter up – whatever this is.

I’ve already started on decluttering a lot of my subscriptions, taking a notebook for any purchases and reevaluating my finances. For one month I want to try a No Spend Challenge. This may also work for Dry January so might as well knock it with one stone and get both done.

Its crazy to think that its already that time again for a new year. These days I really don’t hear any more New Year, New Me theatrics. Probably because of how shitty the world has become and how little there is to look forward too any more. The earth is dieing, people are starving, and just nothing is getting done to change it.

It was 60 degrees here and people were wandering around in shorts and flip flops IN DECEMBER!

The so called magic of Christmas has been lost from me for the last 5 plus years. Especially working retail and they do not give a flying fuck if you really really really want to see your family.

Also doesn’t help that I’ve isolated myself from any family member by 10 hours or so, and am to scared and stubborn to leave the apartment because of how dark I view the world.

Moving now with two cats and being forced to live with some random jack ass again does not sound remotely fun and I do not trust anyone beyond five people.

I don’t see much opportunity for myself these days, just getting to the next day, over and over, paying my bills, staying as inconvenient for my family even though I want to see them. The fact I’d get a home cooked meal that is actually good would just be a bonus.

I am so tired of being an independent person. Like I would love to have company, a good cuddle movie night, and just not have to shoulder all the responsibilities of adult hood. However I do not trust anyone to keep their end up the bargin up. I’ve had the live in boyfriends, the roommates, you name it, and beside the one angel, none of them wore worthwhile. Especially when I found out how they mistreated my Charlie dog. I hope they get hit by a fucking bus.

Anyway yeah so I’m just sorta stuck in my own demise. Cant really blame anyone for not trusting the world or being excited about being in it. That’s a me thing and I don’t know if I’ll ever get over it.

I’m just counting down the days waiting for something to be over.

I’m just praying for either an astriod to end this.