I am getting so flipping tired of this rinse repeat.

All I am trying to do is get my work done in a safe manner without 80 pounds of concrete bags falling out from the sky because someone can not secure them safely in the first place. Been there done that, reported the fuck out of it ((only to be threatened to be written up myself because I was being disrespectful to the management)), and then to be threatened to be filmed and blasted across the internet.

All because they couldn’t accept NO, you can not go into the work zone to get a cart, while I am driving lift equipment moving hundreds of thousands of pounds 16 feet or so in the air.

Well besides that rant all I am doing is categorizing my eBooks, physical books, and whatever hell scape that is my storage / guest / abyss of a back room.

While.im dealing with my own personal black hole, I am still kitten training the dust mites. Which is getting better and better by the day. However loosing chunks of my hair during night shenanigans is still an adjustment.

I’m still living to myself about how one day I’ll get better. How I’ll be better about how I spend my money, how I drink, how I take care of things. My health, my emotions, my mentality.

Honestly i just think of if I hadn’t joined a fucking bullshit cult, if I had choose jaw surgery, if I had stayed put in cedar insteqd moving to Nevada, if I just never tried and just stayed put

Then maybe I would have had something….