With thanks giving getting canned because of ring work its only appropriate for Christmas to get literally cut up and thrown the way side.

Now I’m am in full support of what is happening and I hope that everyone is safe.

But now I’m thinking maybe to get any sort of attention I should have gotten the bloody jaw surgery instead of just invisline….

I haven’t seen my family in months for one reason or another and it feels like theyre constantly else where – be it grand babies or grand parents. While I’m just

Here.

Now again its sort of my own doing because I fucking hate the world and no longer wish to be apart of it. And the only solice I give myself is the fact that no one wants to be around me unless theyre forced too ((I e working hours when they are paid)). Naturally there are three exceptions from this and I forever will treasure them, need to do better by them, and would sell with my kidneys for them.

But beyond that its always been myself and I.

I look at forming romantic relationships the same way. No matter who I meet, they are in a relationship in one form or another, will never give me a second glance, will never love me, and never will support or be there for me. That way I never get my hopes up about the meer thought of being in love with them and avoiding the inevitable heart break in the end.

I fucked up the one chance at a possible mayberry life years ago. All because of a stupid supposed religious group that took me in under false pretense. Only for them to run over a dog and showed their true colors when they went to a car wash instead. I never felt more disgusted by a fucking religious group of two faced hacks.

Now I’m just – forever fucked up and alone.

And there’s no one to blame but myself.

So basically I get to look forward to my yearly trip in a random national Park, and just, wait for the other 50 some odd weeks for it again. I’m curious if it will be a national park or a cruise though for 2026.

Anyway I’m just counting down the days till the new year just to get this bloody holiday shit over with. Working retail means a full 30 days of Christmas music – same 10 songs playing on repeat will drive anyone insane. Another thing to look forward to when the month is over with.

I’m just tired and bitter about this supposed family holiday season. And who knows maybe I’ll man up, grow a pair, and find a better job which allows me to have national federal holidays off. But I doubt it.

I’m just waiting for the day it get hit by a forklift and then I can go home.